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Carlos Granados Podcast
Welcome to the Carlos Granados Podcast. In this podcast, I will discuss my health journey, news, updates, and educational content surrounding my life, and anything and everything that I enjoy. This is my introduction to my new podcast through "Youtube Podcast". I decided to expand my horizons and let you into my life outside my health journey. You can watch clips and full videos in 4k on my YouTube channel "Carlos Granados".
Carlos Granados Podcast
Breaking the Silence: Men's Mental Health Month
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to my channel and welcome back into another episode of the Carlos Granados podcast with me today. Back again, one of the few people who have been back again to my podcast, joe. Welcome to my podcast, brother. How you doing, man? What's up? Man w in the chat? Wait, let me see which one's the right one, not that one. There you go. Uh, ladies and gentlemen, thank you for um. You know, always, always, always, coming back and checking your boy out on the youtube channel. Remember that if you're listening to this on all the audio platforms, you can always go back to the youtube channel and watch this video in 4k. And, ladies and gentlemen, we're so close, so so close, to the 1 million view mark. I think this video is gonna do it, man, I think so I think this video is gonna do it I think we're about 10 000 views from um, from a million views, joe, and this could probably push it.
Speaker 1:You know what I?
Speaker 2:mean, for the next one million, we can do it. Yeah, I'm going to say J Money.
Speaker 1:That's what I'll call you now, from now on, Joe Million. But thank you guys always for showing major love and always supporting the podcast, supporting my journey. Today I wanted to bring on Joe because last time that we discussed we got into a really deep conversation. We got really deep into mental health man and I feel like that is helping so many people that are listening and watching this podcast. Also, I mean, it can help so many men out there who are suffering from mental health and sometimes they don't even know it. So I definitely want to get more exposure, bring more light and awareness to that topic, even know it. So I definitely want to get more exposure, bring more light and awareness to that topic. But before we get into it, Joe, let's, let's everybody, let's congratulate Joe as a content creator because he also started his podcast channel and it's been great.
Speaker 1:I've been on it, you know. Thank you for having me on, but how? How was it man? How's it been? How's the podcast, bro, talk to me.
Speaker 2:Dude. Well, thank you, thank you, thank you. I I gotta say thank you for coming on. Um my podcast, uh, for the audience, I I started a podcast, I think at this point, at the time of recording, probably about two or three months ago. So I'm still fresh, still very new, still figuring out how this whole thing's working. But, um, yeah, thank you, you guys can check it out at joe's fun land. Carlos was actually on it.
Speaker 1:Um, you know, last time I'll make sure that I link everything out the channel and everything. So you guys can, you know, continue to check the, the podcast. It's actually really good, it's actually really fun. What's the name of it? It's called joe's fun land, and there's a reason why it's fun it's a good time. It's a good time and you actually you're.
Speaker 1:You're really good man. I gotta give you credits and a lot of props on the way you carry your podcast. It's really good, it's fun. I feel like you don't. You're not so stressed, you know, when you go it's not, it doesn't feel like an interview, it feels natural, it feels good man. I love the flow of that bro yeah, that's.
Speaker 2:I mean, that's what we're trying to go for honestly, um, and it's like for me, I just want to have fun with it. You asked me earlier too, like oh, do you like check the numbers, Like how close are you in subscribers?
Speaker 1:and views and stuff like that.
Speaker 2:And yeah, I mean it's definitely helpful to look at, like the analytics and all that. But honestly for me, like the fun part of it is honestly just like being able to document the moments like that we're just having conversation and the things we talk about and everything like that yeah because for me personally, I have the memory of a goldfish, right, I forget things like that.
Speaker 2:So I think the cool thing for me is like this is more of a passion project for me, where it's like dude, five years down the road, like 10 years down the road I can look back on these videos. Oh dude, remember like we talked the road, like 10 years down the road. I can look back on these videos. Oh dude, remember like we talked about that and like that conversation. I remember like oh yeah, yeah. Yeah, so I think that's that's the thing I'm most excited for about making this podcast.
Speaker 1:I love that man. I love that. I think if you have a little bit of passion into what you're doing, I think you're always going to be successful in your own ways. It might not be through, like you said, through the numbers or anything like that, but if you enjoy it, you have passion towards creating content. Having your friends on in the podcast, having good discussions, you get to learn more about them. It's just a good time and eventually in the future you can look back and say, wow, that was actually pretty cool and you can actually always carry that for the rest of your life. You can always do content creation. You know what I mean. You never know where it can take you. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So that's good man. Congratulations on that. What do you think has been the hardest or most difficult thing that has been when it comes to creating podcasts or creating content? I just want you to answer that a lot of people who are listening and thinking about creating content or a podcast, they can start actually listening to other podcasters or content creators. How is it? Where does it come from? Where are the challenges, the struggles? What has been one of the toughest things that you feel like has been the hardest for a podcast?
Speaker 2:like content creator in general. Yeah, so I would say and this is honestly like my honest review, just because, like I said, I started doing the podcast two or three months ago- so I'm still like learning so much too.
Speaker 2:Um, one of the, at the very beginning, the, the biggest thing that I had to learn was you don't need the fancy equipments, the, the mics, the lights like, you don't have to spend that much money into doing all that. And and I I'm like, so I'm a photographer by trade, right, so I love camera gear, like um, and I'm a gearhead, so I I'm researching, like the most expensive, the best like what's everything's like a couple thousand dollars.
Speaker 2:I'm like I don't think I'll make that much, I mean that much money um but? But I shoot off of my iPhone, like all of my.
Speaker 1:Hey, welcome to the team brother, welcome to the team.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, like, if you check out my YouTube channel, all my videos are just from my iPhone. The mics I did invest a little bit into just because I feel like I do want to have good quality for the people listening and stuff like that.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:That does help it matters, yeah, yeah. But honestly like, yeah, you can film it off your phone. You just have your friends and just have fun.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's a good time. Did you feel like it's time consuming? When I do it myself, I feel like it takes a lot of time. It takes maybe some thinking, maybe some plotting, brainstorming on what you want to talk about. How has that gone for you?
Speaker 2:Yeah, Actually, last time we talked about it I think you put it best You're like you're a one-man army, so you got to figure out, like, how to do a little bit of everything. Like you got to figure out a little bit of how you want to edit it, how you want to record it, like how you want to edit it how you want to record it, who you want like getting a guest on, or am I going to do it myself?
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:Like how I want my thumbnails to look everything you know.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:It's a lot.
Speaker 1:It's a lot to do. It's genuinely a lot to do.
Speaker 1:And I think a lot of people. I've talked to other people that have started podcasting and stuff like that and once they started getting into it they're like ah, maybe it's not, it was not the best idea, but I feel like if there is a passion for it, you can still always do it. It's just, it will always be hard, it will always be time consuming and if you're a one-minute show just like you are, just like I am it's not easy, but shout out to opus clips.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean it makes life so much easier, bro, yeah sponsor us. Hey, yo actually opus sponsor us, please yeah. Oh, op, actually Opus sponsor us, please yeah oh, opus Clips.
Speaker 1:Hey, listen, we've been fans and subscribers for a very long time, so you know that definitely saves us some time, man, because I mean dang the recording, the editing, the audio, all of this it's a lot I mean, how do you feel about like doing because I know you do most of the processes?
Speaker 2:yeah you're, you're doing it all right. Yeah, like, how do you feel about it?
Speaker 1:it's it's, it's tough, it's it's the time consuming factor. Um, sometimes you know, with your guest, uh, having them on, you know, adjusting to the time, uh, sometimes you know there's days where you're like, yeah, let's do it this a certain day, but when the day's days where you're like, yeah, let's do it this a certain day, but when the days gets there, you're like, oh, kind of you know kind of things of that nature, and then you know it happens and you're just like, all right, well, a day at a time. And if you, again, if you don't concentrate on the numbers, if you concentrate on the fact that this is a passion, a hobby, what did you call it earlier?
Speaker 2:a passion project. Yeah, a passion project dude.
Speaker 1:I mean, then it becomes lighter because you just enjoy, you do it out of fun and it's a good time. You don't know where it can take you, right? Yeah, um, and for me, I already had a youtube channel so it was easier to kind of transition into it. I didn't know how my youtube um family was gonna take me having a podcast, but I always wanted to do it. So even thinking about how I was gonna do the podcast was was a struggle. I always wanted to do it. So even thinking about how I was going to do the podcast was was a struggle. I always wanted to have a co-host. It would be easier. You feed off each other better. Like, I don't know if you have done any solos yet yourself on the podcast yet I did one, my very first episode.
Speaker 2:I couldn't. I couldn't get a guest lined up for the first week that I wanted to launch. So I was like you know what? I'm gonna going to do it myself.
Speaker 1:It's a little different, isn't it?
Speaker 2:I recorded it and I watched it back I was like no, and I re-recorded it six times, I think I think I re-did it like six times. I was like, no, this sounds terrible, this looks so bad Like I can't release this.
Speaker 1:I think I re-recorded it like six times and I think like six times and and I think you know, but that is a real thing. When you go through it, you know. And doing a solo is not as easier, so I get you on that and it's funny because you're your biggest critic, so you're always like, oh, maybe that wasn't gonna, I should have said this, I should have done something else, you know. But it's okay, it's part of the process and you kind of grow with it you know it's all good.
Speaker 1:Six times yo is. Yo is wild dude yeah yeah, but congratulations, man, congratulations on that.
Speaker 1:It's a new journey. I know it's not easy sometimes even opening up to people and the stories that you have, but I feel like you've had interesting guests from the shows that I've seen on your podcast. You've had a lot of different, you know, spices on there. It's a little different things on there. You're just like this is good content. I think it's good man, so you keep promoting it. Keep doing it, bro.
Speaker 1:But let's get into and transition to, to what we're here today, man, and to talk about, uh, men's mental health. Uh, it's men's mental health awareness month. So, um, I've been listening to a lot of podcast, uh clips and stuff like that and how much of a toll it takes on us, and we've discussed this back on my channel. But today we're definitely going to concentrate on this because I feel like it's important, you know, to bring to light. I think it makes us better men, it makes us better people. Um, it helps us grow in our relationships, better communicators. To open up a little bit, right, let me ask you something and you can think about this what do you feel like it's one of the deepest or hardest things to do as a man when it comes to your mental health, whether it's from sharing it, um, talking about it, maybe even learning how to express yourself. What has been one of the biggest struggles that you felt, you dealt with man, we're getting, we're getting, we're just jumping into the deep.
Speaker 2:Man, let's go.
Speaker 1:Man, this is how we do it in the cg podcast all right, I like it, I like it.
Speaker 2:Oh man, I think there's a lot.
Speaker 2:Honestly, I think it's more than just one straight answer for like what's the most difficult, and I think, that's kind of what makes it so hard to to navigate too, just because, like um, I know, like for me personally, a lot of it was just struggling to talk about it and like I don't know, because, as a as a guy and I don't know, you probably relate to this too, but it's just like when you talk about emotions or feelings and things like that, um, I don't know some, and maybe this is just the era that I grew up in in like the 90s and early 2000s, when everyone's like oh you know, men don't cry like you gotta be strong, like you can't show any emotions right, it makes you feel at least it made me feel a little bit like, uh, like a weakness, essentially and I think that's what it comes off of yeah
Speaker 1:um, and I think you're right when you're, since you're little you're told that if you're crying, you know, don't be weak, Like, don't be a girl. You know, yeah, yeah, Whenever you try to express your emotions, it doesn't come reciprocated as you want it to be, when you're just like sometimes. I just want you to listen. You know I don't want you to critique what I'm trying to say or you know expressing, critique what I'm trying to say or you know expressing, and then because of that, we keep so many emotions bottled up growing up because we feel like it doesn't matter, right? I feel like opening up and learning how to express yourself has never been a sign of weakness.
Speaker 1:If anything, it helps you eventually, when you have a spouse or something you know, to communicate with your children. How else would you communicate with your children? When you have kids and male, you know, or boys, I should say and your family? It's a difficult thing and those emotions can bottle up so much that we suffer so much inside. You know. That's why the suicide rate for men is so high, because I feel like that has to do a lot of it, and with it you know what I mean yeah it becomes such a so much stress that you deal with.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean. Like, even when you talk to to. If you were to talk to to other men sometimes and they grew up way back in the day, they will never, they will never share and or at least they will never be able to communicate their traumas, their experiences. You know, like, have you had any people in your life that, like you know, like you definitely went through something but you don't even know how to share it? Like you don't know what it goes through?
Speaker 2:you know what I mean yeah, and that's where I feel like it gets really tricky too, because it's like, yeah, we can say like, oh yeah, just talk about how you feel like share, share with. Tricky too, because it's like, yeah, we can say like, oh yeah, just talk about how you feel like share, share with people. But then it's like some guys, they don't even know how to like. Maybe I want to tell you like hey, I'm going through it right now, but I don't even know, like I don't have the words to say it and express it. And if I try to and I say something wrong or whatever, then I feel dumb because I'm like I don't even know, I just sound stupid right now.
Speaker 2:And then people just shut down because they're like oh man, it's just too hard, I don't have the right words to say. Or even if you're opening up to the wrong people and then they shut you down, you're like dude, just stop, don't be a, you know, yeah, don't be a P, don't be a.
Speaker 1:You know, yeah, don't be a P, don't be a P. Word, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, like don't be weak, like just you know.
Speaker 2:Or some people clown you for it Be like ah, you're a loser.
Speaker 1:Other men will clown, that's the.
Speaker 2:Thing.
Speaker 1:Will clown each other, because that's what we know how to cope with it.
Speaker 2:Like you don't, They'll play it off.
Speaker 1:Ryan, you know, inside you're feeling a lot of emotions, Like, have you? Like, when you drive and you're in the road in the car and you're just thinking so much in your head, you're like, damn, it's a lot. And I think, like you said, man, it takes. All it takes is one person for you maybe to try to open up. And when they essentially shit on you, you're like all right, well, I try.
Speaker 2:And that's it, and you don't go from there, you know. So that's why it gets a little tricky, because, like, yeah, I, my personal struggle was just sharing in general, like I, just didn't want to talk to anybody yeah um, but I can also see like some people, if they try to talk to somebody, but it's the wrong person or um, they just don't know how to say it. Just you know, you end up feeling more stupid and you're like you feel worse about yourself.
Speaker 2:Oh man, I messed that up like oh and that's bad yeah yeah it's tricky, it's tricky, yeah yeah, it's tricky, you know.
Speaker 1:Going back to um, I remember we used to be in a man small group right, and we used to call it men's derivative, but we also had a name. It's called um, the 99 crew, which was. It was interesting, what. What felt like um? How important do you feel like it was to have men in your surrounding that? Well, first of all, you know they're following the, the steps of trying to get closer to the lord, and you know christian men in general. But how important do you feel like it was for going into the group knowing that there is men that are suffering just as much as you are, that are having conversations, that sometimes you, they, you know there's some men that that say some things in there that you're just like I thought I was bad, you know, but it's. It's them opening up. How do you feel like that has helped you? Do you feel like it has done any good to you? Has it helped you grow in any way?
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's. That's everything honestly, Cause I feel like I genuinely honestly believe, like we're not made to live this life alone, like you're not meant to go through life by yourself, right, right um so just having people like that in our like 99 group yeah um, just yeah, having people to show you what that looks like if you don't know how to open up, um, and, like you said, like it also gives you perspective, like I could be thinking oh man, I had such a bad day, like.
Speaker 1:And then you come in, you're like dude, my health, I'm gonna die my health problem's gonna kill me and I'm like I don't got that bad.
Speaker 1:Actually I'm good I'm chilling but it's healthy to hear from other people yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, no, it's healthy to hear from what other people are going through Some of our struggles, some of our weaknesses. We all have a lot of weaknesses and I feel like some of us are better at expressing than others. But you can just see that there is pain behind those words, you know, and it's a struggle and it's so hard. I feel like a lot of time. When we get into those groups and those settings, we usually tear up as men Because we have that inside but we also don't want to let it out. You know what I'm saying. It just naturally flows. I noticed that a lot when we were in the men's small group with the crew man and it hurts sometimes to see. It hurts just to see other men go through it and not being able to share those experiences. By the way, were you with your father? Are you guys close at all, if you don't mind me asking, or was he not a part of the picture?
Speaker 2:yeah, yeah, no, um. So my dad, me and my dad have a a complicated relationship. Okay, yeah, yeah, and I mean me, he's, he's always been around um for me um, and you know he he's always been in my life and I appreciate my dad very much. But I think it got complicated because my dad he's a very stoic man so he doesn't express emotions a lot, I don't know. And he's got a mad poker face too.
Speaker 1:Gotcha.
Speaker 2:Even if I'm trying to read him, I have no idea. I don't know what's going on with you. I can't read him. I don't know what he's feeling. I don't know what he's thinking. So, yeah, he just doesn't express himself. He's not a very expressive person, he's just very like yeah, I'm here, I'm going to go to work.
Speaker 2:Do what you have to do, take care of you guys, do what I got to do and that's pretty much it. And don't get me wrong I love my dad. I respect him so much, but I think it was hard for me to learn how to be vulnerable, because my dad was never very vulnerable.
Speaker 1:He never showed you that.
Speaker 2:But my mom, on the other hand. So my mom is the polar opposite. She's like extremely expressive, like she overdoes it sometimes which I love. I love my mom too. Love you mom. But you know, sometimes she is just very emotional and it gets overwhelming at times.
Speaker 1:Got you.
Speaker 2:So then when I was growing up I like I see it's two very extreme, like sides of the spectrum like right my dad's just like no emotion. My mom is like too much whoa, whoa. So then I'm trying to like, navigate, like, okay, how do I not swing too much one way or the other? Right trying to figure out where's the balance, where I'm not like doing too much but not doing too little, and so trying to figure all that out too is a lot yeah yeah, that's a good point, man.
Speaker 1:I feel like a lot of parents are that way though their relationship the dad on one side and the mom on the other side of the spectrum, um, of how to show love. And when your mom gives you so much love, sometimes you don't know how to um, how do you? You don't know how to receive it because you feel like it's overwhelming. But maybe it's if you knew, and maybe you were raised by your dad in a certain way where you could just learn how to reciprocate, or something I think would have been interesting.
Speaker 1:I always tell my mom I'm not respectfully, I'm like I just hope that I, when I have a spouse and I have, you know, kids or whatever, like I, that I'm a better communicator, learn from the mistakes that I felt like you guys made with me.
Speaker 1:Obviously they're parents and nobody's perfect, but there's things that I know that could have been better, and communication was probably one of them. You know, maybe sometimes not putting me down so much whenever I needed to express myself, you know, it's just. It's just a difference, you know, and obviously men and women are different, so we're bound to be treated differently and I feel like growing up, you know it was hard to try to express any type of way because you were looked down. You know I was a kid who, like if my mom would tell me like something hard, I was like damn. I kind of like teared up a little bit because inside I'm just like I want to say something but I can't. It was tough and I feel like it's very difficult. And we're not the only ones that feel that way, man. I mean, I mean dang, think about how many marriages um are going through that.
Speaker 2:Think about any relationship with their dad, you know, um do you feel like um, because I know you and your mom have a pretty close relationship y'all are pretty tight yeah um, and I know you personally, you are pretty good at like expressing yourself, at least now, like yeah you. You have a gift of vulnerability. You're good at opening up to people and just getting people to open up to you. Do you feel like that helped shape with your mom, or is that more of something like other stuff for you?
Speaker 1:No, no, no. I think growing up my mom was, like your mom, very emotional. She doesn't know how to express herself very well, but there's a soft side that you can always feel the love that I always received when I was growing up. My parents were divorced when I was younger, so the only father figure that I had growing up until like I was 10 was my uncle. He was rough, he was mean, you know, he was a whoop, me and all that stuff. So that's the type of love you know some kids receive and that's all you get. Then growing up, obviously, with my, my stepdad used to be on my side.
Speaker 1:Uh, it's never been, you know, the greatest relationship either. When it comes to that in that sense, um, and I kind of had to learn, maybe from from other people. Sometimes you know other men, um, and learn how to be honest through reading the, the Lord himself as a father. You know, I never I feel like when I came to Christianity I never looked at it that way Like he's a father, he's my dad, quote unquote. But when you start looking at it that way, you start learning a lot, you know. You start reading Proverbs and there's so much wisdom in Proverbs, you know in the Bible. So, yeah, it's the gift of vulnerability, though I so. Yeah it it's the gift of vulnerability, though I feel like that's a god-given gift. I've always been open when it comes to my things. I don't know why I can't.
Speaker 2:That's why I call it a gift, because I don't know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah because I can share so many stuff with you, and whether you judge me or not, I really don't care. To me, the bigger purpose is when you help somebody with your vulnerability. If I'm able to share something that could be embarrassing to other people and they probably wouldn't do it because it is embarrassing or they care about other people's opinion to me, the fact that I can help somebody outweighs anything else yeah and that makes me happy.
Speaker 2:Man, you know what I mean yeah, that's a gift, man, that's good for sure yeah, I never cared about what people thought about me.
Speaker 1:I never. I even told my. I've told my mom this before listen, teach me please, I need to learn.
Speaker 2:Well, you know what, though, that's?
Speaker 1:interesting. Why so? You know that's a good question and that's a general question why is it that you feel like you would care about what other people thought about you like? Where does that do you think that it comes from? I don't want to be a psychologist either, but I'm just. I think that's I would like to learn from you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah, man, honestly, I'm trying to figure it out right now myself too. Like that's something that me and my therapist we were going through a lot and just like you admitting that you have a therapist.
Speaker 1:That's huge, though. Thank you for sharing that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:I appreciate that, though. Thank you for sharing that. Yeah, yeah, I go to therapy. I go there. My brother is actually he's a therapist, so it he's not my therapist, but, um, that's why I I'm also like pretty big on, like you know, everything that I've personally been through, and also my brother is in the therapy space. So, yeah, I feel like I I do advocate a lot for, like, mental health and especially men's mental health Cause. I see how important it is Um, and I see your brother must discuss that with you.
Speaker 1:When he hears like you know, other people know or cause, usually as a therapist, is he like practice. What other people I'm assuming Like?
Speaker 2:yeah, okay, cool yeah.
Speaker 1:Dang Joe, Thank you for sharing that man. That's pretty cool, Um yeah, but go ahead cool. Yeah, dang Joe.
Speaker 2:Thank you for sharing that man, that's pretty cool, yeah, but go ahead. Go ahead. Answer the. Do you forget the question? Yeah, run it back.
Speaker 1:Run it back. Yeah, no, you're good, you're good. What was the question again? Yeah, this is part of the process. You know what I mean. Five, wait, give me a second. I asked I remember, I remember, I remember what was damn joe. I forgot, forgot what I asked you are we gonna edit this later?
Speaker 2:like no, yeah, don't worry about it.
Speaker 1:That's not even damn. It was a good question too it was.
Speaker 2:It was damn. It was before I mentioned I had a therapist right yeah, I asked you a deep question um, uh, no, because before we're talking about you, you and your gift of vulnerability oh yeah, why do you care about what people think? Oh yeah, we got, we got there. Eventually we got two brains.
Speaker 1:Go ahead, one brain cell bro my brain's not raining today, but I think it was a good question that was a very good question, very question but yeah, go ahead.
Speaker 2:So you say you're trying to figure it out. Yeah, I'm, I'm trying because, okay, so I I guess I've kind of been like this for a while. I just was never able to like put it into words. But until I started going to therapy and we started breaking down some stuff and he was like my therapist was like yeah, you probably have some people pleasing tendencies, you want to make people happy, and my best friend will tell you this too he always trying to look out for me because he says I'm too nice sometimes I will go the extra mile for other people.
Speaker 1:Do you feel like that's insecurity? Maybe man, because you want to feel like either love or accepted or some type of way when it comes to maybe man, I just I don't know it's.
Speaker 2:So here's the hard part for me. Like trying to figure it out, because one yeah, I think it probably does have some kind of insecurity to it like I'm sure that there's something in my brain that's wired, that's like, oh man if I do this for them, like then I'll get loved, or get, then I'll get respect or something like that right um, but also for me, like I, just for the longest as long as I can remember, I've always valued people and like friendships and my relationships with people, um, and I just, you know, I just see it as like man.
Speaker 2:This is what I want to be remembered as, like I want people one day, when I'm in the grave and they come to my funeral they're giving speeches, I want them to say, hey, he was a good friend, he always went the extra mile for for the people he cared about. Like that's like the kind of man I want to be. Now, I think where it gets dangerous is like there's a fine line between like getting taken like. People will take advantage of that. That's right.
Speaker 2:They'll like walk all over you then, though you do so much for for them you know, so obviously there's a, there's a line where I need to figure out like okay, well, I'm now, I'm just getting taken advantage of now. They're just walking all over me like I gotta be able to stand up for myself, but also I don't want to lose that um like core value of who I am as a person of like, yeah, dude, like dude, carlos is my friend.
Speaker 2:Of course I'm gonna drive an hour and a half in traffic to go do his I appreciate it, by the way, you know what I'm saying that's like you know, of course, you know like if you ever hit me up, you're like hey, like I need help, like I need somebody like yeah I'm I'm on my way, like what you need like, so it's like trying to find that that balance right, trying to find that line, yeah um, and yeah, you're probably right.
Speaker 2:There probably is some side of me that that was insecure and and I needed people's validation of like you know he's a good guy, you know yeah, no, and I appreciate that because to me, just like you, what matters for me, too, is what goes beyond after.
Speaker 1:You know, we check out right after we're, we're deceased, like we're through dead. How do people, how will people, remember me? You know what I mean. How would uh, the family, the people that I spoke to, the people that I was around, how will they remember me? And I think your legacy, and to me it matters a lot. Yeah, how was this person remembering in?
Speaker 1:In different type of ways and I think you know, maybe I wouldn't say I don't care what people think about me, I just think I want to leave, definitely want to leave something behind to be remembered by you know, because that's, I feel like that goes move. You can't take any of what you did here on earth with you to, you know, the next life. You leave it behind. But those memories, the things that you did for people, it can affect and change people, uh, in so many different ways that you're just like, wow, that that did it for me. That was a good person, that's someone that I want to look up to or I want to resemble in my future. You know what I mean. So that, in that sense, to me, is important.
Speaker 1:I feel like the rest, though, when it comes to I think I've been a people person for a while. I kind of had to learn from other people sometimes on sometimes being more social, social cues and things like that. But I feel like once you kind of grow confidence in yourself, you just do what you got to do. You're just you. You know what I mean and you kind of worry I wish I could put it into words as to why I am the way I am, just like you. I don't know why you do the things you do. It's just something that's in your brain, you know.
Speaker 2:I think for you, at least from my point of view, sitting in this chair, like um, what I know of you, I think it's not that you don't care what people think. I think it's more of people can say what they want, but you just don't let the negativity stop you because, you're so driven with your purpose, Damn Joe.
Speaker 1:Go ahead. I like this.
Speaker 2:This is good yeah let me keep guessing, you, no, no, this is a good way to look at it.
Speaker 1:I never looked at it that way.
Speaker 2:Check your headphones. I think your head's getting a little bigger. Oh, okay, hold on.
Speaker 1:Let me adjust it.
Speaker 2:No, no, but yeah, I think genuinely like you. It's not that you don't care about what other people think. It's more. You're so driven by your purpose that other people may have negative thoughts about you, but that stuff doesn't stop you. That doesn't stop you from doing what you believe is the right thing to do.
Speaker 1:And I appreciate that, bro. Thank you, I appreciate the gas. I'll definitely take it. But I'm going to say something about that too.
Speaker 1:When I was doing YouTube and I was doing content and creation and things of this nature, bro, there was people that definitely I knew that saw me in a certain light, where it's like, oh, he's just trying to be like everybody else. You know what I mean and I'm definitely like the way I'm doing it, I'm going to prove not only them wrong, but I'm going to make sure that I keep grinding so that they see that this is not just a fluke, that this is not something that I just want to do. To do it, I don't want it for clout, I don't want it for fame or anything. No, I want to do it because I love it, I enjoy it and eventually, I guess people start believing more in you when they start seeing like, oh wow, these guys are actually doing something with it. You know what I mean, but I don't know, man.
Speaker 1:I think since I was a kid, I was like I always got motivated by the people that either didn't believe in me or that didn't maybe see something in me. You know, I'm always afraid. You know what I'll tell you what I'm afraid of a little bit. I'm afraid of like not being able to accomplish things in life or just being normal, or just being like living life and not leaving anything behind. That scares me a little bit, because you have one life and the way you live it and if you live it through God's purpose, you will affect and touch so many people. You know what I mean, and to me that's valuable, that's worth more than anything, and I think, because I have so much confidence in that, then the rest, like you said, it just blocks out and I naturally try to do as much as I can. So maybe finding a purpose could be a good way to start.
Speaker 2:That's what happens when you have purpose.
Speaker 1:Damn it you. That might be the title of the. I talk a lot about that too much. But I want people to definitely find their purpose, though it becomes. I mean, you were being knowing why you would put on this earth is what was more valuable than that man. You know you're gonna do something with it. You know what I'm saying and maybe is that because I've asked other people like you know what your purpose of this life is, you know what's what's God's purpose for you and like, nah, go find it yeah, you know I'm not sure this is it for me, but I know I'm definitely doing something to at least touch other people, and so will you.
Speaker 1:When you know, with your podcast and stuff and enjoying it, or even in your day-to-day life, bro, that matters. You know what I know what I mean. I think that's where, you know, a lot of confidence comes in. But I appreciate you sharing that question. You know the topic of therapy and all that stuff. That's also. First of all, it's vulnerable, which it's hard for us men to accept that we might need help. But other people in general, even women sometimes, because of the household they grew up in, they don't share that much. They don't share the fact that you're going to therapy because you might get looked up on in a different light.
Speaker 2:Have you ever felt that way, the fact that you need help?
Speaker 1:Okay, okay, the fact that you need help right, because obviously you can't do it alone. Yeah, but even that fact, have you ever felt some type of way because of that? Or do you, like, do you struggle with sharing the fact that you know like you need help, you need somebody else's assistance to like whatever's?
Speaker 2:going up over here that wiring to change it, I'd say okay. So from my, from my experience, I wasn't afraid to share the fact that I was going to therapy. I think at the very beginning I was just scared to go to therapy and I was talking to some of my friends about this and I was like yellow, yeah, I mean at the very beginning, before I made the jump to go see a therapist, um, I was, you know, going through some, uh, depression and anxiety in my life and I was like I'm talking to my friends, I, I was like I, I probably genuinely like I think I need help, but I'm scared to go to a therapist.
Speaker 1:What was the scare coming from?
Speaker 2:I think I was just scared that they would. I would go to the therapist and I was afraid that they would be like, oh well, you're broken, Like there's nothing we can do about it it's a genuine fear yeah, yeah and I would. That's why I was like dude. It might be better just not to know.
Speaker 2:It might be better just to live my life and and handle it myself instead of like because once you like go see a professional and they tell you like oh well, yeah, you're broken man, sorry, but then it's like it becomes more real versus like if you're just like, oh yeah, like, I'll just like if you don't know, you know, just push it away, just hide it under the rug like yeah, ain't nobody gonna know, you know. So it's fine.
Speaker 2:But yeah, once like you actually go and try to get help, and if they can't even help you, then it just feels so like it feels more hopeless yeah, that's the word hopeless yeah I mean like, even if you take that an example of like a physical health, like if you have a physical ailment oh, I know, you know, I know and like if you got all these symptoms and you're like, dude, I, something's wrong. But then when you go to the doctor and if the doctor's like, oh, dude, go see a specialist, you go see a specialist and the specialist like I don't know how to help you, it just feels terrible, damn Joe.
Speaker 1:You're the that made me. You know, oh, I know, I know I know that, I know exactly that feeling and you know I can speak on it more.
Speaker 2:But I know exactly what you mean that hopelessness.
Speaker 1:You know, I've always said this. I don't know how true this is, but I've always said that the last thing a person loses is hope. Like that's the last thing you should lose, because hope at least keeps you going, keeps you motivated. The hope and it's even biblical Hope keeps you going, the fact that there is a possibility that good things can happen, that it can turn around, you know. But once you lose that, then what do you rely on? Right, because your brain doesn't see a way out. And this is where mental health is so important, because if you don't have the right people around you, if you don't have the help that you need, if you don't express it or talk about it with somebody, you don't see many exits. You know what I mean. Typically, you start seeing one and that's where a lot of things start building up.
Speaker 1:I was speaking actually last week on mental health in general how, because of my sickness one time, I got sick and I forgot what happened, dude. But I don't know if you ever felt this before, joe, I felt so in my head. I felt like there was nothing there, like it was like a blank space, bro, and for days after I was just going with the flow. It just something was not like. They didn't feel like something was there. It was very weird, bro, the only time I felt like I've ever felt close to that is when I played football and like I got you know a concussion, probably from like getting tagged or hitting somebody, but it just felt that carried on for days. You know, football hell is you know a couple hours and then you're probably good, you know, or even a couple minutes, but what I felt, that blank space was so scary because you feel like there's't know if you ever felt that before, but it's.
Speaker 1:It's a scary feeling, yeah, because when you're functioning your thoughts and all that stuff, you feel like there's still at least like it's working, there's a machine behind it. But when you feel like there's so much like a blank space and there's nothing there, dude, I said, all right, I gotta take it slow, I gotta just I would just just sit on that couch and just watch tv sometimes and I'm just like just a robotic movement. It's just robotic. You do what you have to do, but you don't find anything behind life. You're just there and that's a scary thought, scary feeling, yeah yeah, I don't know if, like you've ever felt that before.
Speaker 1:Like you feel different things when you have through your moments, like when you've gotten to like dark places and dark spots, what is it that you feel like? What do you feel? Like you go through?
Speaker 2:yeah, I think it's pretty similar um to me, like that, that feeling where it's like you just feel like you're on autopilot, like sometimes, if I go through like a depressive episode or something like that, where it's like the um, depression is just hitting me hard, and just like, yeah, you just feel, I, I feel like it's like a cloud or like a haze Right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:You just yeah, no matter what you try to do, you just hey, support animal, yeah yeah. Yeah, that's pretty much what you're feeling too. It's pretty similar, like the way you described it. It's pretty similar to, like my experiences of, like depressive episodes where it's just like sometimes, days or weeks where I just feel like I'm on autopilot.
Speaker 2:I feel like, yeah, everything is just robotic, like okay I know I got to do it, so I'll do it, but my whole my mind just feels like I'm in a like a cloud or something like that, or a fog, and just it's crazy that's a good way to put it, man, a fog haze.
Speaker 1:I mean it's such a weird.
Speaker 2:It's such a weird feeling right, it's weird and like I think the weird part is also like you kind of what you kind of recognize that like okay, this is not normal but, also you're like I have no idea what to do, like how do I fix it?
Speaker 1:like right, no idea, yeah and and this is what I'm speaking of like finding somebody or ways to at least keep you level-headed. Yeah, you know. So your, your thoughts won't go a different way, or, um, at least it gets you back into the rail so you can, like, continue to, to, to function and and do well, bro, um dude what?
Speaker 2:what can I ask you? Like what do you do if you're like in like a, a mental like funk, or you're just like there's a few days and you're like man, I'm just not feeling like myself, like I'm just not like, I know I'm not in a mentally great space, like what do?
Speaker 1:you do that's a great question and I'm doing what? Going? Going back to the Bible, what the Bible tells you to do when you're in that space Go to the Lord, and I'm starting to learn how to consistently go to the Lord. Go to Jesus and talk to him. The Bible talks about how, every time you need help, just say his name. Jesus helped me. He's going to be there for you. Now I'm not going to lie to you and be like he was just right there once.
Speaker 1:I said that, no, it's a process. You feel like sometimes there's nothing there and you feel like nothing's going to help you. But the Bible keeps reminding you, joe, that like he's there, he's suffering the same way you're suffering. You know, unfortunately, we're part. Like he's there, he's suffering the same way you're suffering. You know, unfortunately, we're part of a fallen world and this is why we suffer, right? This is why we're suffering from a lot of illnesses mental health, I mean sickness, you name it. Whatever is going on in this world, that's not from God. We're part of it and that's one of them. So go into the Lord and speak into him and just say Lord, like I need you, like I'm.
Speaker 1:I actually had a conversation with the Lord recently and I'm like I need help, man, and I talked to him with not no disrespect, but I'm like I'm like man, like you need, you need, you need to do something for me, cause I'm struggling, like I'm suffering. Uh, like you know, I'm talking to him and what is it that I need to do better? Um, and if I'm in a funk and like I'm that mental headspace, like I need you, bro, I don't feel like I can keep going because it's tough, man. It's really really, really hard uh to deal with and sometimes you're just like it's kind of just lay there and go with the motions. But you find the reasons, you keep living, your family, your friends, your purpose, like every day, you know, you remind, you kind of remind yourself, like there is, you know, a reason behind it and if in this, if in eternity, you, you know the, the goal is, you know you're not going to suffer from this, you're not going to, you're not going to, uh suffer from any issues and you're going to live a beautiful, uh, eternal life, then everything that you do here is worth it.
Speaker 1:But you see how reminding you all of all of that in those moments it's hard. I'm going through stuff right now and I'm just like every day is a grind, everything's a struggle. It's not easy, bro, it's not at all, and my mental takes a big shot, like it takes. It's a lot. Sometimes you got to cry it out, cry it out and then move on, and then you know, find ways to try to help yourself as much as you can. But yeah, man, next time get closer to him in a way where intimacy, for example, right, the Lord tells you to be intimate, but as a man, and being intimate with another man. Do you see where?
Speaker 2:I'm coming from, though it doesn't feel as natural. Yeah, yeah, do you see where I'm coming from, though it?
Speaker 1:doesn't feel as natural. Yeah, yeah, and I've had Pastor Johnson talk about this one time how sometimes, man, it takes us a while to come to God and get closer to Him because it's so hard for us to start expressing our emotions to Him. Like Lord, please help me.
Speaker 1:I'm suffering from this, acknowledging the fact that you're suffering from something, and then you know, again, again, being intimate with another human being, another being that's that was a man when he walked in jesus, right, when he walked on earth, it's it's not the easiest thing to do as a man, right? It's not the easiest thing to to, to be submissive, or at least to follow directions and listen, and you know all the things that you feel like as a man, go against it as what you are as a man. When you're taught here on this earth and by society. It's not easier, bro, um. And the reason I'm even mentioning all that is because he's like when he was describing towards the end of what happens at the end, um, of the bible, what's the, what's the, what's the book? Here, I forgot the name of the book revelations revelations.
Speaker 1:Thank you so towards revelations how jesus will come and slay you know the devil and, like you know, kill him and stuff. And I, I felt more alive than than ever, bro.
Speaker 1:I'm like fuck yeah, like let's go like let's beat this, let's beat his ass, let's whoop. But that's my man inside, because throughout, throughout my life I have to again be more, be more intimate, be more gentle, be soft. But inside, as a man you know, it's like you want to do physical stuff and like when I heard that and he even stated he was like you're going to slay the devil. You're going to slay the devil, you're going to stab him, his blood is going to shed and I'm like I got to be there, bro, I got to be there, bro, I got to be there.
Speaker 1:I was like let me pull this.
Speaker 2:You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1:It amped me up because that becomes more easier as a man to do right, to fight Physically, fight, beat somebody's ass Even if you get it, don't matter, put me in there. But when it's all mental up here, we don't know how to handle that very much because it's not it's a different battle. Yeah, exactly, bro. It's a different battlefield. That's a good. Hey man, I'm getting into it right now joe.
Speaker 1:Hey, you know what I mean, but it's true, though, because we're wired differently, you know, and it's easier for us to do that. So, even coming to him, it's hard for us. But every day you try. Every day you try to get a little better, maybe even remind yourself what you did wrong Not wrong what you could have done better when you were in that moment, and then, hopefully, you know, god helps you see it through and he's going to be there for you, he said. He always says every time he calls name is there for you. You know so he's never. Yeah, dang joe, that's.
Speaker 1:This is good, bro, this is a good conversation. Um, I don't know what time we're on, but we're getting closer to that time, bro. Uh, is there anything that you feel like you could share with you? Know people men out there, maybe, or people in general that, like you, feel it's good advice of when you're going through moments, maybe what has helped you, how do you handle your situation, so they can just learn from you and maybe they can apply it to their lives, you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, for me, what the biggest thing that has helped, honestly, is just I have I have really good friends. I have. I have people who genuinely care about me. They'll they're the ones who, if I'm going through it like I, I know I can talk to them and and figure it.
Speaker 2:I will figure it out together kind of mentality so um, even if, like, they don't 100% understand what I'm going through, like the feelings or or whatever, but they'll still be so, so, supportive of me, you know they'll. They'll like hit me up and hey, how's your mental health? You doing? Okay, like they'll check up on me, like yeah, just again, like you, I don't think we're meant to live life by ourselves alone.
Speaker 1:God didn't create us that way, man yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:So finding, just finding a group of people, just good friends, I think that that makes a world of a difference. And then also, like you said, coming to the lord, you know, reading the bible, just being honest with god too, like yeah even if you know he doesn't answer in the way that you want him to answer but, I, think he genuinely just wants you to be honest with him.
Speaker 2:I think that that's where it begins. You know, like, if you're saying hey, like yeah, my life fucking sucks right now, right, and you, just you tell him that, hey, god, like dude, life sucks like I'm not having a good time, not having fun. What's going on like, and just being honest, I think that that's the place where you um. It's. It's the place where you start to find um honesty, and I think it's the place where you start to find um the intimacy maybe yeah, intimacy and just the real, like power of of God and the power of Christ.
Speaker 2:I think that's where it starts, man.
Speaker 1:That's good, man. That's so good because it's so true. That is so true, bro being humble enough to know that you need something, you need somebody, you need someone. It's so I talked about last week the verse I gave my YouTube people, a verse, for the Lord did not give you a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind. And the last part, the sound mind part, like we were not meant to be suffering from all of this, the anxieties, the fears, the uncertainties, the depressions. That was not for us, bro, but because we were born into a fallen world. Now these are the battles that we have to fight, but luckily for us, you know, the Lord tells us that the war has been won already. We are fighting from victory and not for victory.
Speaker 1:So reminding yourself of that it's not the easiest thing when you're going through it, because it's not I'm not going to pretend as if it is because it's not because you we've been there but trying to practice it, trying to to remember certain things, um Bible verses that you can maybe use, um and then eventually, slowly, you kind of start opening up like a present, you know, to the Lord and eventually becomes more easier to carry yourself as a human being, you know, and to carry yourself as a man.
Speaker 1:So, hey, man, thank you for your honesty, thank you for opening up. I know it's not easy and you you know there's a lot of eyes that will look at this, but it's real. You're gonna help somebody, um, you know, whether you know your purpose or not, this is part of the reason why you're here, and I truly believe that you can help so many men out there that are suffering that eventually you can open their eyes and you can change them. Bro, you never know what that person can do with one life. I think I told you this in your podcast last time, right?
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:What if you affect one person, bro? One person, you can save them so much and you never know what you can do for them. And it's the same thing that the God does for you, right? He kind of comes in and he gives you hope you could be doing that to somebody else, and just through this podcast, just through people listening, and you never know, bro. But you know God is good.
Speaker 2:God is good God is good, that's real man, that's real.
Speaker 1:Yeah, man. Well, thank you for coming on, man. Thank you guys, everyone. By the time you probably see this or wait, you know, by the time we put this out, we're literally close to one milli.
Speaker 2:So let's get this to one mil man, one mil, let's do it.
Speaker 1:No, I appreciate it, man. It's an exciting point. Thank you guys for watching and for listening. I am super proud of the fact that two men can come together and share their mental health experience. It's not easy. It doesn't come easy to everyone, but if you're any man out there, man, just know that you are loved, not alone, and you know there is something you can do about it. You know, reach out to your friends, family, somebody, close prayers. I always pray over people who watch and are part of my YouTube channel, so I thank you guys for listening to me.
Speaker 1:I hope that you guys enjoy this content very much. Don't forget to like, comment, subscribe. Of course, if you're listening to this on all the audio platforms, don't forget that you can watch this video in 4K and if you're watching this video in 4K, go show some love to the audio platforms. You know, the more this message goes across, the better. So thank you guys for watching this episode as part of the mental health awareness month and take care. Take care of each other, as always. Peace and love, familia. See you guys on the next one. Peace, great job.